Long-distance relationships can be a hassle. I know this because I have been in one for almost 5 years now, and for me, it doesn’t seem like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe everyone will agree that long-distance relationships suck. Most people I have met say they will never be in one, and after speaking to them, many are puzzled and amazed by my story as they do not quite understand how I have managed to sustain a strong relationship despite leaving miles away from my partner for so many years.
This is how it starts: You find the person you love and believe that you now have someone to cuddle and hug, and you can finally say good-buy to being the single one in your friend group. But instead, you find yourself feeling lonely, missing your partner terribly, and constantly wondering if they are with someone else, all because you don’t live in the same place.
Well, don’t worry, because I can assure you that long-distance relationships do work, and there is potential for them to thrive. As a matter of fact, a majority of couples experience being apart from each other at some stage of their romantic partnership, be it dating or marriage, making it more common than you might think.
For long-distance relationships to work, there needs to be a great deal of equal trust, communication, and commitment from both partners. I have come to learn that with the right approach, they can be just as fulfilling as traditional relationships or sometimes even better. Here I will share a few tips that I have learned along the way.
Communication is everything
One of the biggest challenges of long-distance relationships is maintaining a sense of closeness and intimacy with your partner. This can be quite difficult when you’re physically apart, but I have figured out a few ways to overcome this challenge.
For instance, creating a ritual of regular communication can have a tremendous impact. This can be either phone calls, video chats, or text messages. For those with busy schedules like myself, I find it very beneficial to schedule regular times to talk so that we can stay connected and catch up on what’s happening in our lives.
Have a habit of talking in the morning and at night
With technology at our finger tips, we’re blessed with the ability to be in constant touch with our significant other. Just like a traditional relationship, it’s essential to make the most of the time you have together with your partner when you are in a long distance relationship, even if it’s just virtual. Some couples like to talk all day, while others find it a bit much. It’s might be useful to have an open discussion with your partner about how often and for how long you’ll communicate through texting, talking, or video chatting. That way, you’re both on the same page and can avoid misunderstandings. Remember, communication is key in any relationship, and it’s even more important when you’re far apart.
It’s essential to make the most of the time you have together with your partner when you are in a long-distance relationship, even if it’s just virtual.
Nevertheless, it’s really important to check in with your partner in the morning and before bed. Even though you can’t be together physically, you’ll feel like you are part of each other’s day by staying connected during these times. The mornings and nights can be particularly tough when you’re apart, as these are times when you’d normally be together. We all need emotional support, especially throughout the day, so checking in helps to strengthen your relationship when you both find joy in regular communication.
Trust issues
We have established that being in a long-distance relationship is tough, and one of the biggest challenges most couples experience is trust. When you’re not physically with your partner, it’s easy to start overthinking and worrying about what they’re doing or who they’re with. It’s normal to feel this way, but these thoughts should not be left to ponder, but communicated so you both can find a solution.
The first step to building trust is to talk to your partner openly and honestly about your concerns. Let them know how you feel and why you’re worried. It’s possible that they’re feeling the same way, and you can work together on problem-solving.
Be transparent with each other, share your schedules, let each other know when you’re going out or spending time with friends, and be honest about any concerns or temptations you may have, as all this will contribute to ensuring that one person is not wondering what the other is up to.
One thing that is often overlooked is that it is also important for you to trust yourself as well. If you’re constantly worrying about your partner, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and happiness. Take time for yourself, focus on your own goals and interests, and trust that your partner is committed to you and your relationship. Having open communication is also crucial here as it will enable you to address any insecurities and concerns you might have, so as to prevent yourself from being emotionally burdened.
Find a way to be together while apart.
Did you know that some of the healthiest relationships are those where both partners are interdependent on each other? Interdependent relationships are where you both do things together while maintaining your individuality. Let’s be honest, when you are in a long-distance relationship, it can be tough to find shared experiences. This is why it is important to identify a few activities you can do remotely but together.
Find something you both enjoy, like, reading the same book, streaming a show together while chatting, playing games online, listening to the same playlist, or even eating at the same chain restaurant on the same night. These shared experiences can help you feel more connected and interdependent, which is key to a healthy long-distance relationship.
Remember, it’s all about finding ways to do things together, even if you’re physically apart. So get creative, have fun, and stay connected!
Be Committed to the Relationship
Am going to say it again, long-distance relations come with so many challenges, with commitment being in the top 5. It can be quite hard to stay committed when you live miles away from your partner. That’s why it’s important to be sure that you’re truly committed before you waste your time. Here are a few questions you need to ask yourself.
- Do I really love this person?
- Am I ok being alone?
- Am I ok with missing my partner’s everyday life?
- Should we consider an open relationship?
- How long can I keep this up?
- Am I ready to give up being single?
After you have answered these questions and still decide to stay in a long-distance relationship, you need to have a plan for the future and work towards that goal. It will be hard, but if you are truly committed and willing to work toward your future together, it can be worth it.
Set Clear Rules and Boundaries
Just like you would in traditional relationships, you need to be mindful of your actions to avoid any potential issues with your long-distance partner.
When it comes to social media, it’s important to remember that anything you post online can be seen by your partner. This means that you should be mindful of the content you are sharing and the messages you are sending. If you wouldn’t want your partner to see it, it’s probably best not to post it.
Additionally, it’s important to be respectful of your partner’s feelings when it comes to social interactions. While you don’t need to check in with them before every social interaction, you should set clear boundaries and rules that work for both of you. This might mean avoiding certain types of interactions with people who make your partner uncomfortable or refraining from sharing too much personal information online.
At the same time, remember that trust is a two-way street. If your partner is feeling insecure or threatened, listen to their concerns and work together to find a solution. This might mean setting aside time to talk about your feelings and concerns, or finding ways to build trust and intimacy in your relationship. By working together and communicating openly, you can build a strong foundation for a healthy and happy long-distance relationship.
Be an active partner
One of the keys to making a long-distance relationship work is to find ways to make the distance feel less overwhelming. This can include planning visits, sending care packages, or finding activities that you can do together online. While doing all these, don’t ignore your own self-care. Make sure that your needs are also being taken care of. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Granted, self-care is different for everyone, for some it can include spending time with friends and pursuing hobbies, while for others it might be staying indoors and having a quiet Friday evening. Find out what you enjoy and do more of it.
When the time is right, create a long-term plan for merging your worlds.
Long-distance relationships can be a wonderful experience, but eventually, both partners may want to be physically together, and this is where having a long-term plan comes in handy.
You both need to be on the same page about how long the long-distance relationship will last and what the eventual plan is for living in the same place. Without a clear plan, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of simply waiting for the other person to make a move, which I know is very frustrating and stressful.
Having a timeline can also help to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that can come with being in a long-distance relationship. Knowing that there is an end date in sight can make the separation more bearable and give both partners something to look forward to.
Communicating your goals and plans for the future is essential. This can include discussing things like where you both see yourselves in a few years, what career aspirations you have, and what you would need to do to make living in the same place a reality.
Enjoy the present moment
Despite the distance, any form of communication with your partner can be incredibly meaningful. Even though physical distance may separate couples, modern communication tools like FaceTime, Skype, and Zoom have made it possible for partners to see and talk to each other in real-time. A virtual date can be as special as an in-person dinner date because your partner is fully present and engaged with you. Appreciate and enjoy each moment that you have together, whether in person or through technology, and avoid distractions like scrolling through social media or checking emails while on a video call with your partner.
A virtual date can be as special as an in-person dinner date because your partner is fully present and engaged with you
It takes time and effort
It’s important to remember that long-distance relationships can be tough, but they are also an opportunity to grow and learn. You’ll learn how to communicate effectively, trust your partner, and be more independent. It might take some time, but eventually, as you and your partner get to know each other better, it all becomes easier.
A few words from Omihoop
Ultimately, a successful long-distance relationship requires commitment, communication, and a shared vision for the future. With those things in place, it is possible to maintain a strong and healthy relationship even when living far apart.
