Relationship Anxiety: Signs, Causes & How to Cope

Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel like you’re constantly worrying and seeking reassurance from your partner? That’s what we call relationship anxiety. It’s that feeling of uncertainty, doubt, and insecurity that can pop up when we’re in a romantic relationship. And believe it or not, it’s more common than you might think.

Picture this: You meet someone amazing, you hit it off right away, and everything seems perfect. But then, you start to doubt yourself. You wonder if you’re good enough for them, if they really like you, or if the relationship will last. These thoughts can be persistent and can really mess with your head. Relationship anxiety can manifest in various ways, including questioning the security of the relationship or feeling uncertain about the depth of your partner’s feelings.

If you can relate to this, then you might be experiencing relationship anxiety. It’s a normal feeling to have, especially when you care about someone so much. However, if left unchecked, relationship anxiety can negatively impact a person’s mental and emotional health, as well as the relationship itself. It can be overwhelming and can actually prevent the relationship from progressing.

So, what causes relationship anxiety and how can we manage it? Well, it could have its roots in early childhood attachments, and it’s often a sign of an insecure attachment style. But don’t worry, there are ways to cope with it.

We are going to explore the reasons behind relationship anxiety, how to spot the warning signs, and the best ways to navigate this feeling. So, if you want to learn more about relationship anxiety and how to deal with it, stick around!

How to know if you have relationship anxiety

It is common for people to have some level of concern about their romantic relationships, and it’s not necessarily a cause for alarm. Nevertheless, those with relationship anxiety may have more intense worries. Here are some signs that you could be experiencing relationship anxiety:

• Doubting your partner’s feelings for you by worrying about what you mean to them and worrying that they may call off the relationship.
• Seeking constant reassurance from your partner, are clingy and co-dependent on them.
• Sacrificing your own needs to please your partner and not expressing your feelings and ideas
• Acting controlling towards your partner’s movements and interactions and always looking out for signs that they have been unfaithful to you
• Being reluctant to commit and holding doubts about romantic compatibility
• You over-analyze simple words and actions for signs of trouble, and blow situations out of proportion
• You feel anxious every time you think about your relationship
• Deliberately sabotaging your relationship or purposely staying aloof and guarded with your partner

Symptoms of anxiety

Here are some of the ways anxiety can manifest itself

• Being Irritable
• Restlessness
• Insomnia
• Sweating
• Shaking
• Muscle tension
• Lack of concentration

What causes relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety can be a difficult feeling to navigate but understanding the common causes behind it can help us manage it better. So, let’s dive into some reasons we might experience relationship anxiety.

Stress

When you’re in a relationship that’s causing you long-term stress, it’s not uncommon to start feeling anxious.

The tension from the relationship can spill over into other areas of your life, making it hard to shake off those anxious feelings. It’s okay to worry about your relationship, but if you’re feeling anxious all the time, it’s important to recognize that it might be taking a toll on your mental health. Over time, that stress can really pile up and cause some serious anxiety. So if you’re feeling anxious in your relationship, know that you’re not alone and it’s important to take care of yourself.

Over time, stress can really pile up and cause some serious anxiety.

Attachment Difficulties

When we talk about attachment styles, we’re basically talking about the way we bond with other people. If you grew up with a secure attachment style, it means you’re comfortable being close with others and expressing your needs.

However, if you grew up with an insecure attachment style, you may struggle to trust others or to open up emotionally. This may be from growing up with parents or caregivers who constantly showed us cruelty and abandonment. This can cause us to cling to our partners for attention and constantly seek the reassurance of their love, leading to us having anxiety in our relationships because we may be worried that our partner will reject or abandon us.

Basically, the way we learned to bond with people as kids can have a big impact on how we feel about relationships as adults. People with anxious attachment styles often question their worth and are typically on guard, watching for signs that their partners may be losing interest in them.

Negative Past Experiences & Loss of Trust

Negative past experiences in relationships can trigger anxiety and make us question the stability of our current relationship. When trust in the relationship is lost, whether due to unfaithfulness or broken promises, we become uncertain about the future, which might lead us to develop relationship anxiety. Similarly, if we’ve experienced a relationship where our self-worth, value, or attractiveness was called into question, we may remain on edge and constantly question the authenticity of our partner’s feelings for us.

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Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can be a major contributor to relationship anxiety. When you don’t have confidence in yourself, it’s easy to doubt your partner’s love and commitment to you. You may worry that you’re not good enough for them or that they’ll eventually leave you for someone better.

This can cause you to become clingy, needy, and constantly seek reassurance from your partner, which can put a strain on the relationship. It may also encourage assumptions of unfaithfulness and other questions that can put the future of the relationship in jeopardy.

It’s important to work on building your self-esteem so you can trust in your worth and value in the relationship. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are.

Negativity & Poor Communication

Negativity can come in the form of constant criticism, complaining, or always seeing the glass as half empty. When negativity is present, it can lead to a toxic and stressful environment that can be hard to escape. This can cause anxiety as you constantly worry about the state of your relationship and whether it will get better or not. Being in a negative environment can also make it impossible to have honest conversations about your feelings, the state of the relationship, or plans together with your partner, which can leave you in a vacuum and encourage feelings of anxiety.

Here is another article I wrote: How To Talk To People: A Guide to Having a Conversation, that will guide you through improving your communication skills.

Ways to manage relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety can be overwhelming and can affect one’s emotional well-being. However, there are ways to cope with or even stop these feelings. Here are a few options to consider.

Be Open with Your Partner

One of the best ways to get ahead of anxiety is to have honest conversations with your partner about your worries, expectations, or dreams for the future. You might find yourself constantly thinking about how to stay safe, what might make you feel uncomfortable, and all the things that could go wrong. People with anxiety tend to be very aware of other people’s feelings, but it’s important to share your own thoughts and concerns with your partner too.

By sharing your thoughts with your partner, uncertainties that can encourage anxiety are avoided, leaving room for a healthy appreciation of the relationship.

Enjoy the Present Moment

It’s advisable to cherish and savour the present moment with your partner instead of worrying about the relationship’s fate in years to come. Overthinking future events that may not even happen only takes away from the joy of being with your partner at the moment.

Work on yourself

Taking care of yourself is always a good idea. Questioning the reasons for your anxiety can help you recognize the issues and tackle them effectively.

It may sound counterproductive to embrace your anxieties while attempting to get over them, but this is one of the most effective ways to get your emotions under control.

Working on yourself is so important that I have written an article: 10 Simple Habits To Build A Stronger Relationship With Yourself to guide you on how to be more in tune with yourself.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask For Help & Attend Therapy

Whether it’s your partner or friends, don’t shy away from sharing your doubts and challenges with them, and give them the opportunity to help you in whichever way they can. In certain situations, seeking professional help to manage your anxiety may be the best option.

Through therapy, you can receive proper guidance to change negative thoughts about yourself and your attitude towards your partner. Therapy can also teach appropriate methods to manage your anxiety to prevent lasting damage to the relationship.

A word from Omihoop

It’s normal to worry about your partner and their feelings towards you, but it’s crucial to know the difference between normal anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). This way you are able to recognise and manage it before it harms your well-being and your relationship.

By taking proactive steps to manage relationship anxiety such as communicating openly with your partner and prioritising self-care, you can develop a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with your partner. Remember, seeking professional help is always an option if your anxiety becomes overwhelming.